The first entires of the weblog. Summer 2004, before I started writing every day.

7/9/2004
9:39 pm

The last 3 days I have been on a mini-vacation. I left on Monday at about 5pm. My friend Lee came to pick me up. I was suppost to meet him at his house in Godfrey, Il, but I didn’t have transportation. He drove 3 hours to pick me up. From Carbondale we drove for about 6 hours, towards our destination, Licking(yes Licking), Missouri. At about midnight we stopped at a small town about 10 miles from Licking and spent the night at a small motel where you had to ring a doorbell and wake the attendant up to get a room. I was surprised how pleasant the attendant was considering she obviously had gotten out of bed just for me.
The next morning we got up early. I don’t know what time it was becuase we made it a point not to know the time during the entire 3 days of the vacation, but it wasn’t past 7am. We drove to Licking and found our destination, Boiling Springs resort, with no trouble at all. The word “resort” was an overstatement becuse people would not typically refer to such basic accomodations as a resort, but it was exactly what we were looking for. We arrived sometime before the 8am opening time and waited in the parking lot until the owner, Gerald, woke up and opened the shop. Gerald is a huge hog beast. For those of you who don’t know the meaning of the term “huge hog beast”, it is a phrase that Lee and I developed in 1998. “Huge hog beast” is an oxymoron which we created to describe anyone who is extremely nice and tries hard not to offend anyone. So, Gerald the huge hog beast questioned us when we told him we wanted to take the 3 day, 35 mile float trip because not too many people canoed that far. We talked to Gerald about our trip for a few minutes, then made a few purchases and paid. We then drove accross the road to the canoe launching point. There were were met by a man we came to call “Jake the Snake”, becuase he told us all about snake collecting as he helped launch our canoe. We were on the river sometime before 9am.
To Be Continued……….(have to work at 6am)

7/1/2004
10:24 pm

Last night I slept at Buckley and Jen’s place. Jen cooked a Jenny-O turkey dinner and it was my first real
meal all day. Good stuff. Thanks again Jen. Jen went to sleep early because she had to work early the next morning. Buckley and I stayed up and drank some Jack and Coke and watched TV till about 2 a.m., then fell asleep on the couches. I woke up at 4:30 am to Buckley taking out the trash. I said, “Interesting cleaning schedule you keep here.” He explained his behavior to me then we watched the Playboy Channel till 6. He went to his real bed then and I went into the spare bedroom. * I woke up at 10 and took a ride with Jen because she was on her way to work. I accidentally stole another one of Buckley’s Cubs lighters on my way out. Jen buys Cubs stickers and makes Buckley his own original Cubs lighters. I have accidentally stolen several of them. After I got home and realized I had his lighter in my pocket, JenW(roomate Jen) came home. She needed me to take her rent check to the landlord and she had to work at 11 a.m., so I took her to work and used her car to pay our rent. After I dropped her off I came home and took a shower, then went to sleep til 3 p.m.. She called at 4 and asked if I would pick her up at work. When I arrived at Panera to pick her up she told me that she needed me to take her to the bank so she could pick up change that Panera needed for the customers. We went to Union Planters and I waited in the parking lot for her. I felt like we were robbing the place because I was just sitting in a car staring at the door of the bank. I saw a really hot girl walking out the bank and was checking her out, but when she started looking back at me I thought it might be because she thought I was casing the place, so I looked another direction. About that time, Jen walked out of the bank carrying two large cotton bags with
“$$” written on the side of them. She sat down in the car and said, “I feel like I’m robbing the place.” The girl I was checking out eyed me very suspiciously as she drove by. Jen and I drove back to the bread company and we ate together becuase she was due for a break. I then drove to Great Clips and got a hair cut. The lady who cut my hair had the attractive older woman thing going for her. While she cut my hair she told me about her partying and her red Camaro. When she told me I had alot of hair I told her, “It gets crazy when it gets long.” She said, “I hear that hair is alot like its owner.” Excellent. After she finished with me I drove back home and washed the loose hair out of my head because I hate to be itchy. Then I worked on this website until I had to pick up Jen at work at 7. She didn’t get out of work till 7:30. Lee called me right after Jen and I got back to the apartment. We talked for 30 minutes about his invention idea, Lee Press on Testicles, which I agreed to be his advertising specialist for. We also briefly discussed our planned 35 mile canoe trip that starts on Tuesday. Jen left during the phone conversation and went to the Sunset Concert. After I got off the phone I stopped by Nick and Sara’s apartment, then called a cab to Mugsy’s. Tonight was Christies “going away” party. There were at least 30 Schnucks employees there and it was a great time. I sang “Cold as Ice” for Kereoke. I got a ride home with Gretchen at 11 because I have to work at 6 a.m.. Grrrrr.
Garth
Good Night.

6/30/2004
— God @ 4:25 pm

You humans have really dissapointed me. Especially Mike Eaton. I hate that guy. I wish I had never created him. If he ever tries to have kids I will make sure he has an accident.